What a delight to meet Sandra Brewer and hear all about her life as a carer and her earlier adventures as a coach driver.
Sandra is a carer for her partner. After losing her husband, she met her partner Brian 10 years ago, and they have enjoyed many happy times together. Sandra began to notice changes in Brian’s behaviour, and 5 years ago he was diagnosed with dementia. It’s always difficult to see changes in someone you care about. They live separately and spend time at each other's houses, which Sandra feels is helpful to them both.
The demands upon Sandra as a carer are significant. Caring involves a lot of planning, and since her partner is no longer able to drive, a lot of driving too. She cooks meals and makes sure that they have two shopping lists – one for each house.
We discussed the importance of making sure that family members are involved in the care, especially as the care may become more demanding in the future. At the moment Brian is still involved in local social activities. He loves doing jobs around the house and helping out at events.
As a carer, it can be easy to lose your identity when so much time is taken up in caring for a loved one. Behind every carer is a person with their own story, achievements and aspirations, and Sandra is no exception. Determined to maintain some independence, she tries to take one day off each week and make time for her own social activities. Encouraged by friends, she has recently started giving talks to local groups about her fascinating driving career.
Life Before Caring
Before caring became such a significant part of her life, Sandra enjoyed an extraordinary career driving coaches and later running her own business. As a young woman in 1971, she started working with Saltburn Motor Services, and her first challenge was driving a coach down Saltburn Bank while second gear kept jumping out!
In those days, driving coaches was ‘men’s work’ and as a woman driver Sandra faced considerable discrimination and resistance from men. This took the form of either abusive comments or being ‘chatted up’. Sandra accepted neither. She became an experienced driver and could take on the men.
Later in her career, Sandra and her husband Dennis set up their own business, Errington Travel and Sandra launched her own trips called ‘Sandra’s Specials’. She researched her destinations thoroughly and her excursions were very popular.
Sandra’s adventures included breaking down at the top of Danby Bank
at midnight and hitching a lift to get some help; driving backwards and forwards to Blackpool over the Pennines via Blubberhouses and driving a double decker bus from Guisborough to Upleatham.
And all this before power steering, sat navs and mobile phones!
Holding on to Who You Are
Caring can sometimes take over every aspect of life, but Sandra's story shows the importance of holding on to the things that make you, you. Making time for the things you enjoy, whether that's spending time with friends, pursuing a hobby or revisiting a lifelong passion, can help you maintain not only your sense of identity but also your wellbeing.
Looking after yourself is an important part of being able to continue caring for someone else.
For several years, Sandra and Brian have been regulars at Dementia
Dances run by Dementia Action Teesside.
Marie Kerr, Project Development Manager at Dementia Action Teesside added:
"We are delighted that you have written about Sandra's life as a coach driver, highlighting the importance of recognising the amazing skills and experiences people bring and valuing them as individuals as well as dedicated carers."
