The Parenting Hell podcast is one of my favourite things to listen to, if you haven't heard of it and are a parent check it out. Josh Widdicombe and Rob Beckett share weekly updates about 'the trials and tribulations of modern-day parenting', as you can imagine from two comedians it is pretty funny and very relatable.
Last week me and my husband went to see them live at a warm up gig for an upcoming podcast tour. One of the things that they talk about in the podcast is the mental load involved in being a parent and the dynamics between managing this with their partners. At the live show they asked the audience who knew what was meant by the term mental load and the big question who carries it? Very few raised their hands and those that did were predominantly women which I would assume is because they take on the majority of the caring responsibilities for their children and families.
The mental load is a term for the invisible labour involved in managing a household and family, which typically falls on women's shoulders. Mind Body Green 2022
I know I feel as though I carry the lion's share of the mental load in our house but that's not to say my husband is an old-fashioned misogynist. He feels he shares the household chores but actually, the reality is he shares the chores that are visible, I manage the play dates, the school meetings, doctors appointments, shopping, the ACTUAL cleaning (not just loading the dishwasher etc. I also have caring responsibilities for a family member who suffers from mental health issues. So my mental load also includes worrying about their needs.
I have met some wonderful people whilst developing We Care You Care and one of the things I have been reflecting on is how they have all shared the same thing; the mental load of caring for a loved one, often on top of everything else in their own lives, is the element that causes emotional distress and burnout.
So, the question is how do we minimise the impact of our mental load? Do you have any top tips, have you found a way to reduce your mental load?
Share your ideas by emailing us at hello@wecareyoucare.info
