Being a parent is one of life’s most rewarding yet demanding roles but for some it involves much more than the typical parenting responsibilities. If you’re a parent carer then you’re likely to be caring for a child, or maybe an adult son or daughter, who has additional needs or disabilities which means they can’t manage without your help, whether that’s physically, mentally or emotionally.
The many faces of parent carers
Your child might have special educational needs (SEN) –in Middlesbrough alone there are 4,500 children and young people aged 0-25 years on special educational need (SEN) support and 2,000 with an education, health and care plan (EHCP). Plus, a further 250 children accessing alternative provision. The figures for Redcar and Cleveland are similar with 3,148 children aged 0-18 on SEN support and 1503 children and young people (0-25 years) with an EHCP.
Or your child may also have a physical disability, chronic illness, mental health issues or substance use problems. Each of these situations presents its own challenges, and the role of a parent carer is diverse and far reaching.
Recognising yourself as a parent carer
For many parents it can be challenging to recognise the additional responsibilities that come with raising children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND) as caring responsibilities.
Parents often see these responsibilities as part of being a parent and it can therefore be difficult to identify as a carer. But, recognising yourself as a carer is really important because once you do, it will help you see that your role may be causing additional practical, emotional and/or financial challenges, and can make it easier to look for the support you need to make your life and the lives of your loved ones that bit easier.
Being a parent carer can often mean that you’re juggling multiple roles at once. It might be that you’re attending medical appointments, managing complicated healthcare routines, advocating for your child’s needs in education settings, providing emotional support and doing all of this whilst balancing work, family life and looking after other children, never mind a social life. The role of a parent carer can feel overwhelming at times: dealing with emotional highs and lows, financial strains, feelings of guilt that you’re not meeting your child’s needs and worrying about their health or future.
The Biggest Challenges Faced by Parent Carers
At We Care You Care, we regularly meet parents who manage these complex responsibilities every day. We asked some of them recently at a Parent Carer Conference in Middlesbrough what some of the biggest challenges are that they've experienced. This is what they said:
All these challenges, alongside the daily strains of caregiving can have a huge impact on your own physical and mental wellbeing. Many of the parents we spoke to, talked about feeling overloaded and stressed, and knowing that they needed to find time for themselves but feeling guilty for doing so and not feeling like they had the time. They had this advice to share with others going through the same as them:
“Connect with local peer support groups – you’ll meet people who are experiencing the same things and genuinely understand what you’re going through. They feel like a safe space where you can tell it how it really is without feeling guilty or worried about being judged”
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help – taking a break from your caring duties to chill and recharge your batteries can make a big difference in how you feel.”
“Celebrate the small wins and be kind to yourself.”
Finding support
We understand that not everyone wants or needs external support, but if you do, there is help available. All carers are entitled to a Carer’s Assessment with the Local Authority. This is a conversation between you and a social worker to identify the support you need and how it can be provided.
You can get a carer’s assessment by contacting your local Adult Social Care Access Team. All the details can be found here Getting an assessment | We Care You Care.
There is also lots of other support available across the South Tees area and you can find out more here on our Parent Carer page Parent Carers | We Care You Care
New Parent Carer Forum
An exciting development in Middlesbrough is the establishment of a Parent Carer Forum which will provide a platform for parents to share their experiences and help shape future services that better meet the needs of parent carers.
Laura Yale Family Liaison Officer, Parent Participation, for Inclusion and Specialist Support Service at Middlesbrough Council explains: “We are still looking for new members to help run the forum. Any parent or carer that has a child 0-25 years old and either, lives or uses SEND services in Middlesbrough can be a member. We are looking for people that can bring a variety of skills to help create a diverse SEND Parent Carer forum. It’s critical that we have a SEND parent carer forum to ensure that the voices of parent carers in Middlesbrough are heard and that they help influence and shape SEND services moving forward.”
Redcar and Cleveland also have a Parent Carer Forum and you can find out more at the SEND family voice website
For more information about carer services and support across South Tees please sign up to our fortnightly ebulletin where we share information and updates about support and services available across Middlesbrough and Redcar & Cleveland.
